Bar Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's
drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced
limes and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard
balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows
it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool
table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,"replied the guy. "He eats everything
in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then
leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders
a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is
finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs
it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry
up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. " He still
eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures
everything first..."
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