Eleven Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House
1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip,
it's an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. Despite what you may have been told by your mother, praying and cursing
are both helpful in home repair ...
but only if you are working alone.
4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can ...
many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
5. If it's electronic, get a new one ...
or consult a twelve-year-old.
6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if
the tank is empty; try turning it to the "on" switch; or just paint
over it.
7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking
it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.
8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes
DOES help.
9. If something looks level, it is level.
10. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
11. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid.
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