What a Lawyer Should Never Ask a Witness
In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness
to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr.Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind
their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize
you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst
in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different
women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died!
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors
to the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you guys asks
her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt.
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