The Commandments of How to Be a Good Dog
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like
the way they smell.
3. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
4. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although
they are tasty, they are not food.
5. The sofa is not a face towel.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying
hello.
9. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee
table.
10. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
11. I will not throw up in the car.
12. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when
company is over.
13. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that
noise, it's usually not a good thing.
14. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he is on the toilet.
15. I will not come from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
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