New Discovery
A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science. This new
element has been tentatively named
"Administratium". Administratium has 1
neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons,and 111 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312. These
312 particles are held together by a force
called 'morons,' which are surrounded by
vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called 'peons.'
Since Administratium has no electrons, it
is inert. However, it can easily be detected
as it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A minute amount of
Administratium causes one reaction to take
over 4 days to complete when it would normally
take less than an hour.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3
years; it does not decay but instead undergoes
a reorganization, in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and
assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization
causes some morons to become neutrons forming
'isodopes".'This characteristic of moron-promotion
leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is formed whenever morons reach
a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"CriticalMorass."
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