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Political Clocks A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at The Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on Earth has one and every time you lie, the hands on your clock move." "Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?" "That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have seldom moved," said St. Peter. "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands Moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's are today's Politician's clocks?" asked the man. "The Politician's clocks are in Jesus' office," said St. Peter. "He's using them as ceiling fans."