Mammograms
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need
to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam,
and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared.
And you can do this right in your own home!
Exercise 1:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and
the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and
lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds
(while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't
effective enough.
Exercise 2:
Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with
one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly
back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
Exercise 3:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger
into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the
bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger
to meet next week and do it again!!
CONGRATULATIONS!
Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your Mammogram!
And just a thought for all you women out there:
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,
MENopause.
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have
real problems, it's HISterectomy!
Send this to all the women you know, and brighten their day!..........P.S.
Don't forget the GUYnecologist!
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