Real Meanings of Medical Terms
Anti-body - Against everyone.
Artery - The study of fine paintings.
Bacteria - The back door of a cafeteria.
Barium - What you do after CPR fails.
Benign - What you are after you be eight and before you be ten.
Bowel - A letter like A,E,I,O,U, and sometimes Y
Cesaerean section - A district in Rome.
Cardiac arrest - Taken into custody after stealing a coupe deville.
Cardiology - Advance study of poker playing.
CAT Scan - Searching for the kitty.
Cauterize - To make eye contact with a woman.
Charlie Horse - A 10 to 1 long shot in the Kentucky Derby.
Colic - A sheep dog.
Coma - A punctuation mark.
Congenital - Friendly
D&C; - Where Washington is.
Dilate - To live long.
Enema - Not a friend.
Fester - Uncle.
Fibula - A small white lie.
Genes - What you wear cutting grass.
Genital - Not a Jew.
G.I. Series - A baseball game between teams of soldiers.
Hangnail - A coat hook.
Hemorrhoid - A male alien from outerspace.
Herpes - What a woman does when we stop at a rest area.
Hormones - What a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid.
Impotent - Distinguished, well known.
Labor pain - Getting hurt at work.
Medical staff - A doctor's cane.
Minor operation - Coal digging.
Morbid - A higher offer.
Nitrates - Cheaper than the day rates.
Node - Was aware of.
Organic - An organ work repairman.
Outpatient - A patient who has fainted.
Pap smear - A fatherhood test.
Paralyze - Two far fetched stories.
Pelvis - A cousin of Elvis.
Pharmacist - A person who makes living in agriculture.
Post-operative - A letter carrier.
Protein - In favor of young people.
Recovery room - Where they do upholstery.
Rectum - Dang near killed 'em.
Scalpel - What you stand on to clean windows in high rise buildings.
Secretion - Hiding something.
Seizure - A Roman emperor.
Tablet - A small table.
Terminal illness - Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor - An extra pair.
Urine - The opposite of "you are out".
Vericose - Nearby.
Vein - Conceited.
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