Bush in Hell
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is
waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You're
on my list, but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't
quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty
good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool
of water. Nixon kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and
over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer,
and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer
and a room full of rocks. All Blair did was swing that hammer, time after time
after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony
if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked
on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle
pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush looked
at this scene in disbelief for awhile and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
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