Definitions for Parents
AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex
again.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart
to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained
carrots.
FULL NAME: What you call you child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're
sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes
into it.
SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your
last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Super- man jammies.
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make
those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: Able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.
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