We are Doomed!
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside. (The shoplifter special.)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just
a suggestion.)
On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): Do not turn
upside-down.
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I gotta
admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents
for this one.)
On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
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